I am very inwardly hard on myself. I don’t let it show, it’s all internal, but I am constantly comparing myself to others and measuring my success against those around me. That’s not a good thing at all, and I feel like that is something I got from my mom. I hope I don’t pass that along to Lily. I am very aware of my flaws and my weaknesses, but last night my eyes were opened to one of my biggest weaknesses and probably one of the reasons I am not as successful as I could be (not in my career, just in my life in general!)
Last night we went to the Picture People to get family portraits done. We go there a lot, we are portrait club members and I love getting Lily’s picture taken because she’s so stinking cute (not that I’m biased or anything!) Last night we went specifically for family pictures. I really wanted to get a nice picture of the four of us: me, Kevin, Lily and, of course, Comet, our dog! We all wore jeans and a white top and comet wore his tan fur so we all kind of matched. It was great and Comet didn’t even poop on the floor!
I really wanted a good picture of just Lily and Comet, but that didn’t happen. Comet had a hard time sitting still if he wasn’t on my lap and Lily had a hard time not chasing him around! We got some cute candid shots, but honestly nothing I would have bought.
I wanted to get some pictures of just Lily also so I brought along another cute outfit and was all ready for our session. After we finished all of the family and dog pictures the photographer said “ok that’s it” and the session was abruptly over. I am a pretty roll with the punches kind of girl, so I said ok, even though I really wanted Lily’s pictures in the other outfit! It is what it is and I didn’t buy the outfit special for pictures so I didn’t think it was the end of the world.
As we were picking photos, we got a large framed trilogy for free, another photo sheet for free and a bundled package for $8. I picked everything until our free photo sheet. Truthfully I was having a hard time deciding because I didn’t love any of the pictures that were left, but there were some better than others. The photographer immediately pulled up his favorite and edited it and made it black and white and told me that’s the one we should pick. I said OK and we got 2 5×7 prints.
When we got in the car we looked at the pictures again and I told Kevin I was a little disappointed that I didn’t get the other outfit and that I don’t love the photo sheet I picked. That’s when my husband looked at me and simply stated, “you need to stop letting people make decisions for you. You always do that and you’re decisions are great, you just need to listen to yourself.”
Wow. Number one, Kevin very rarely speaks up, and number two, he was totally right! I constantly let other people make decisions for me because I don’t want to hurt anyone else’s feelings and I have a seriously hard time saying NO. What an eye opener!! I have always had a hard time saying no, but I didn’t realize how much it affects my life!
I’m going to work harder to drive the direction of my own life, but I’m not going to lie, this is going to be hard. I am so programmed to do what others want just to not make waves that I’m sure there will be a lot of uncomfortable moments in my near future!
So how does one say “no”? Any tips are great!!